


People just gotta have fun

by korichiro



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Niall Horan/Zayn Malik - Freeform, Genderfluid Character, Hand Jobs, Implied Liam Payne/Original Female Character(s), M/M, Masturbation and sex talk, Other, Taking care of Louis, genderfluid Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:32:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korichiro/pseuds/korichiro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is insecure about his gender indentity. A coming-out story of sorts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	People just gotta have fun

It wasn’t like he wore dresses or floral prints or frills or anything like that. It wasn’t like he wanted people to start calling him by different pronouns. It was just… he felt like he wasn’t strictly as male as his body.

There were these people who were born with both genitals, right? And some of those felt like they were either male or female, despite that. Well, this was that but the other way around. He was biologically male, but he was kind of frail, right? Like, he worked out and all, but he was lithe, slim, kind of feminine in the face too. And he’d wanted it that way, it wasn’t an accident.

And his legs were incredible, right? And his butt?

By now, Louis dared a wary glance up at his best friend. He had been expecting a smile at those last words, but he was surprised to see a whole face-splitting grin on Niall’s face. Louis bit his lip as he toyed with the neck of his beer bottle. Niall’s hand appeared on top of his, to steady his fingers.

“Lou, it’s fine, stop rambling”, he said, and that’s when Louis broke down. He could feel the tears streaming down his face, and Niall took the bottle from his hands, deposited both their beers on the sofa table, and then wrapped his arms around Louis as he hid his face in his hands and started sobbing.

“Louis, I’ve known you since we were in nappies, basically. I know, OK? I know you”, Niall said quietly. Louis couldn’t seem to catch a breath.

“Of course I didn’t know all of that”, Niall said, sounding thoughtful, “I mean, I knew that you’re not exactly all boy inside. But I, um, when you started speaking I was kind of worried I’d been offending you for years calling you one. I’m glad I haven’t.”

“I couldn’t… I couldn’t move in with you without telling you”, Louis said quietly, trying to reign in his tears and breathing. Niall squeezed him closer.

“Oh, mate, you were worried I’d back out?” he asked. Louis nodded tearfully, and Niall grinned and placed a wet kiss on his cheek, which he wiped away with a laugh.

“This reminds me of when I came out to you, you know”, Niall laughed. Louis had to grin at that, the sobbing all forgotten and just streaks of tears drying on his cheeks.

“You were crying before you said anything”, Louis said. Niall grinned.

“Yeah, and when I finally got it out you just laughed at me, can you not understand how damaging that is? I had just revealed a vulnerable, naked part of me to you, and you just laughed!”

“Mate, I’m sorry for that, but I fixed it the next moment by telling you I’m into blokes, too. You don’t have any reason to resent me for that”, Louis grinned. Niall buried his face into Louis’ neck.

“I just don’t know why you didn’t tell me this then”, he said. Louis smiled to himself.

“Hadn’t worked it out properly yet”, he said, “took me about a year more, I think. Came out to mum when she found out it was me and not my sisters who’d been “borrowing” her clothes.”

“So you do wear them?” Niall asked.

“Not like that. I mean, nothing much more feminine than what you’ve already seen me in. Just, um, most of my underwear isn’t from the men’s’ department”, Louis said, biting his lip, “except for a few items I take with me when there’s a chance someone could see me in them.”

“Dude, I have some lingerie, I thought you might be a bit scandalized if you accidentally saw my laundry or something”, Niall grinned. The two of them returned to their drinks, cuddling up closer on the sofa.

“Besides what I have to say may make you want to back out from moving in together”, Niall said, picking at the label of his beer. Louis frowned at him.

“I’ve, um… met someone”, Niall said, clearly fighting the grin that was spreading on his face.

“Seriously?! How long ago?” Louis exclaimed.

“We’ve just been out, like, twice”, Niall said, his face turning a bit red, “but I really, really like him, he’s amazing.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Louis yelled, slapping Niall on the thigh, his own confession all but forgotten.

 “So, um, I met his friend Liam the other day, it wasn’t a date, but we just bumped into each other, and I kind of invited both of them to help move us in, so you’ll probably meet him then.”

“What’s his name?” Louis asked with a grin.

“Zayn”, Niall said, with a flush and a smile.

“Is he hot?” Louis asked.

“Insanely”, Niall said.

“Better arse than mine?” Louis grinned. Niall shook his head.

“Yours is the best in the world”, he said with a wink, and Louis burst out laughing.

“Though actually, Liam’s is quite good, too”, Niall joked, and Louis messed his hair with an “Oi!”

“He plays football, too”, Niall said.

“Zayn?” Louis asked, but Niall shook his head.

“Liam”, he said.

“How do you know so much about Zayn’s friend then?” Louis laughed.

“They’re flatmates, sharing with one more bloke. They’ve been friends since kids, just like us, Zayn and Liam since preschool, and Harry joined their group a few years later, I guess. Zayn can’t shut up about his friends, kind of like I can’t shut up about you”, Niall grinned. Louis grinned back, then burrowed into Niall’s lap.

“Should’ve known you’d be fine with it”, he said quietly. Niall just kissed the top of his head and made an agreeing noise.

 

Louis met Zayn on moving day. Niall and Louis had packed up a van respectively at their parents’ places, and then driven to their new place. After a while of carrying stuff inside from one van first, three guys showed up as they got back to the vans, and Niall laughed as he spotted them.

“Zayn! You didn’t have to force both your mates to come! It’s nothing big!” he shouted, then pulled the hot foreign-looking bloke into an embrace. The guy pecked his cheek with a grin.

“Couldn’t stop them. Li said he wanted to see all the dirty secrets in your closet”, he said.

“Niall, what the hell?” Louis exclaimed, draping himself all over Niall and pulling him away from Zayn. Niall just laughed and settled into the embrace. Louis could feel his lower lip pout as he stared at the others, who looked surprised and confused.

“So, Zayn, this is my possessive best mate Louis. Louis, Zayn is my boyfriend. Treat him with respect”, Niall said with a grin, gesturing to them.

“Just so you know, he needs my approval”, Louis said to Zayn then reluctantly put his hand forward. Zayn shook it with a smile.

“He said as much”, he said. Louis grinned.

“Also, just so you know, he tells me everything. Absolutely everything”, he said. Zayn nodded.

“Fair enough”, he said. That’s when one of the other guys finally spoke.

“You never tell us anything”, he said with a pout.

“He tells me”, the other guy said with a grin. The other guy looked really hurt now.

“Liam, you like girls”, Zayn pointed out. Liam was still pouting.

“So does Harry”, he whined. Harry and Zayn exchanged a glance and a grin.

“Yeah, well, you don’t ask about blokes’ cocks”, Zayn said, “he does.” Liam made a face.

“I could ask”, he grumbled, and the others laughed. Louis found he and Niall were joining in on it.

“Well, my man here will top all of those stories anyway”, Louis said confidently, making Niall blush and groan, and hide his face in his hands.

“We’re already dating, Lou. You don’t have to oversell me”, he said. Louis grinned and went to shake Liam’s hand.

“Lou”, he said.

“Li”, said Liam with a grin.

“And that’s Harry”, Zayn said as Harry stepped forward.

“Harold?” Louis asked, earning an eye-roll.

“No nickname”, Harry said.

“Right”, Louis said with a grin that said he’d definitely annoy this guy.

They got down to work, carrying the last from the first van up fast, managing the beds much better with five people than they could’ve with just two. They got through the second van fast and Louis was placing a pizza order while the others carried the last boxes in. He was ordering from the place they usually get from, and asked for three of the ones they usually have, with ham and mozzarella and mushrooms.

“Zayn doesn’t eat pork!” Niall yelled from his bedroom. Louis locked eyes with Liam, who was carrying a box into the kitchen, where he was.

“Chicken OK?” he asked, and Liam nodded, looking a bit tense. Louis changed one of the pizzas and hung up.

“Sorry, didn’t think to ask for allergies or the like”, he said as he joined the others in the living room. Zayn just waved his hand.

“Nah, it’s fine, should’ve mentioned”, he said.

“It’s not fine”, Liam bit out. Louis frowned at him, but Zayn just rolled his eyes.

“It’s kind of worse if people just assume based on my looks”, he said with a light laugh.

“I’m allergic to strawberries”, Harry said, possibly just to lighten the atmosphere, and everybody laughed at that.

“Damn, sorry, I’ll have to call them back, all three pizzas have those”, Louis joked, and the atmosphere lightened up considerably.

“People just don’t know a lot about it”, Zayn said, and Liam shrugged, sighing a little.

“You grew up in their kitchen, doesn’t mean everybody else did”, Harry pointed out with a grin.

“I just feel like people are ignorant, but yeah, I get it”, Liam said, smiling a little.

“Well, I had to google up on it”, Niall admitted. Zayn grinned at him and sat next to him on the sofa they’d set up. Louis immediately dropped down on the other side of Niall and claimed a thigh with his hand. Niall looked at the hand, then up at Louis’ face with a grin, and Louis rolled his eyes as he removed the hand. Zayn was also grinning at him, as were the others, so he just scoffed and crossed his arms, slumping forward in his seat.

“So do you do Ramadan with him or do you, like, taunt him with delicious smells in your flat all day long?” Louis asked Liam and Harry instead, earning wide-eyed looks from everyone.

“How do you even know what that is, I just had a blurry idea, really?” Niall asked. It was Louis’ turn to stare.

“Mate, two of our good friends from school were Muslims. Did you not notice they weren’t ever eating lunch during Ramadan?” he asked.

“What, who?” Niall asked with wide eyes.

“You seriously…?! God, I had a thing with one of them!” Louis exclaimed.

“The twins? Amir and Hamid?” Niall asked, wide-eyed.

“Yes, the twins. God. I even made a joke during Ramadan about Amir not being able to swallow!” Louis exclaimed, laughing. Everybody was laughing by then.

“I thought- that was a joke?” Niall said, eyes still wide and innocent. Louis stared at him.

“Seriously? Mate, he swallowed plenty. During Ramadan we didn't do stuff during the day though”, he said. Niall bit his lip and then started laughing too.

“Oh god, I’m an idiot”, he said.

“Yes, you definitely are”, Louis said.

“We don’t fast, but we often eat less during the day, too, since we usually join him for the evening meal”, Harry said then.

“Yeah I’m not going to be able to eat less, so you’d better not be over too much during it”, Louis grinned.

“Louis’ an amazing cook”, Niall said with a wide grin.

“That’s the only reason you agreed to be flatmates”, Louis said, shaking his head.

“That and your supernaturally, agonizingly cute puppy eyes”, Niall said with a grin. Louis gave him a pout and Niall messed his hair, making him scream.

Then Niall got up and went to get drinks from the kitchen, where the boys had bought all sorts of stuff the day before. Harry and Zayn went to help him, and Louis got up too, but was stopped by Liam, who was scratching the back of his head, looking sheepish.

“Sorry, I’m just protective of him”, he said. Louis grinned.

“You don’t think I’m protective of Ni?” he asked. Liam chuckled at that.

“Fair enough”, he said, and Louis clapped his shoulder as he walked past.

 

They settled in quite nicely, both in the flat and in their new friendships with Zayn, Liam and Harry. Niall and Zayn got progressively cuter in Louis’ mind, even though he was increasingly jealous and made it known by doing silly things like sitting in Niall’s lap or kissing his cheek or something like that, but never when he’d actually be disturbing something.

The day before Louis’ birthday was a Saturday, and the five of them went out. Liam and Niall were their usual, bubbly selves, and Zayn and Harry were kind of in their shells, in a zone of their own for the most of the time, but that was usual, too. Louis had so much fun, he was wearing his tightest black jeans, and a huge top that said “I dare you to ask me out”. He had even dared to put on just a little bit of make up, even though it wasn’t just Niall there.

That was the one thing he didn’t like about Niall’s new relationship and their new friendships. He couldn’t totally be himself around the flat even though he’d been looking forward to that. On days he knew for sure Zayn had something else to do, and Liam wouldn’t be over to play on their consoles, he could wear tights and more feminine tops, style his hair more femininely and wear eyeliner. But those were actually starting to be rare days.

Harry had warmed up to the others slower, but he sometimes joined Zayn or Liam, and once he was even over by himself, because of some movie he’d agreed to show Niall. Louis couldn’t deny the attraction there, but he was still unsure of Harry’s sexuality, and in any case, they were becoming friends, so it was a no go.

The birthday night went well enough, and the next morning Louis padded into the kitchen, on his proper birthday, to find that Niall had cooked him breakfast. Niall was not a good cook, but despite the way it looked, it tasted just fine, and the two of them giggled and talked as they ate. Louis was conscious about Zayn sleeping in Niall’s room, though, and he’d put on pajama pants and boxers, too, so he was a little bit frightened by what Niall gave him as his birthday present.

“Look, so I… I found these and they just looked like you”, Niall said, biting his lips. Louis accepted the gift he was pushing forward on the table, and opened it. Inside were a pair of thigh-high socks, white and soft, and another, black and silky. Both had a lace trim, and both were too feminine to be seen by Zayn, so Louis packed them back fast, glancing at the door.

“I was thinking, you know, the huge, white wooly jumper, or the red tunic-ish thingy you wore last week. You’d look amazing in those with these on”, Niall was grinning, looking kind of oblivious to Louis’ panic. Louis bit his lip.

“That sounds good, yeah”, he said, and thanked Niall with a hug and a peck on the lips. Just then Zayn walked in, and Louis scrambled to hide the present in his room. When he came back, Zayn was eyeing him with a slight frown.

“Do you two often kiss on the lips?” he asked after a while of tense-ish silence. Louis burst out laughing and shook his head.

“No, oh god, I’m sorry”, he said.

“We do. But never when one’s in a relationship, unless it’s OK by the other party”, Niall said with a grin. Zayn smiled a little, and even chuckled when Louis turned his puppy eyes at him.

“It’s my birthday, you can’t deny me those lips this once”, he said. Zayn grinned and, sitting next to him, leaned in and pecked his lips, leaving him stunned.

“There, we’re even”, Zayn said with a grin. Niall was laughing at Louis’ expression, and after a while Louis smiled.

“You know what, I’m starting to think you might be OK for my Niall”, he said. Zayn grinned.

“Who do I have to screw to get final approval?” he asked with a wink at Niall, and Niall and Louis roared with laughter.

“Just Ni’s fine. I mean, I hear good things about your sexual prowess and your body, but neither one of you’s my type, really”, Louis said.

“What’s your type, then?” Zayn asked with a grin.

“Not sure, really”, Louis frowned.

“I mean, I’ve seen you look at Liam”, Zayn said, still grinning. Louis grinned back.

“Well, his arse is almost as good as mine”, he pointed out, and Zayn laughed.

“Nothing rivals yours”, Niall said with a nod.

“I should be offended, but yeah, agreed”, Zayn said. Everybody laughed again.

“Li’s a bit straight, though”, Louis said, making a face. Niall and Zayn grinned again.

“Your type isn’t exactly determined by looks, though, is it”, Niall said, “I mean, I’ve always gone for dark and handsome, but you’ve dated every bloke on the spectrum.”

“Guess I haven’t found the right type, yet”, Louis said with a shrug.

 

The thigh-highs were amazing. Even if Niall had taken him to the side while Zayn was still there to ask if he could tell Zayn. Louis had said no. And he was still saying no, even though Niall kept buying him cute bracelets, necklaces, earrings, shirts and the lot. It felt amazing, having his friend completely accept him and encourage him. Asking to tell Zayn and their friends was also encouragement, but sometimes Louis felt like it was the bad kind of pressure, and the two of them actually got into a fight over it a couple of times.

One of these times the two of them were on their way to meet the others at their place, and when they got there, Niall was seething, and Louis fuming.

“What happened?” Harry asked as he opened the door for them and took in their frowns.

“Nothing”, Niall spat out, crowding past him and leaving Louis there. Louis bit his lip and pinched his nose between his eyes.

“Everything OK?” Harry asked, sounding really worried.

“Yeah, it will be. Just need to calm down a bit”, Louis said. They went in and had a quite nice movie night, even if Louis and Niall were sitting at opposite ends of the sofa and resolutely not talking to each other one bit.

It kind of made Louis more observant, though, because as the movie progressed, he noticed Zayn and Niall weren’t as close as usual either. He frowned a bit at that, and on their way home he broke the silence with an apology, and a question about Zayn. Niall, however, was still reluctant to talk, and just said it was none of his business.

It became his business when the two of them had a blazing row in Louis and Niall’s apartment the next evening, Saturday, when Zayn came over.

Louis was staring wide-eyed at the wall between their rooms when the yelling started almost as soon as Zayn and Niall got into Niall’s bedroom. He couldn’t hear everything of what they were saying, but apparently Zayn was accusing Niall of being a liar and a cheat, and that was just not on. Louis stepped out of his room only to see Zayn storming out. He glanced back into Niall’s room, and when he saw his friend sitting on the bed, crying, he hurried over, even though they hadn’t spoken since the day before.

“What is it?” he asked gently, pulling Niall into an embrace.

“I love him, Lou”, Niall whimpered between the sobs, burying his face into Louis’ neck. Louis waited.

“I love him and I love you and I can’t make that choice, I can’t”, Niall sobbed. Louis frowned and turned Niall’s face towards his.

“What?” he asked. Niall was holding something, and he shoved it at Louis.

“He saw this near my bag, must’ve fallen out”, he said. It was a box, like a gift box, that had been opened. Louis peered inside and saw a bracelet, not unlike the ones he’d been getting from Niall. This one looked like it had small, precious stones in it. In an instant it all clicked in Louis’ head and he shoved Niall away and made a beeline to the door, still holding onto the box. He barely shoved his feet into his shoes as he ran out hoping to still catch Zayn.

It was silly, really. Phones had been invented, and even though Zayn might not answer, he might see a text. Or Liam would, and he’d tell him.

It wasn’t futile, though. Zayn hadn’t even left the building. He was standing in the stairwell two stories down, leaning against the wall. He’d looked up hopefully when Louis came into view, but then bit his lip and turned away.

“Thought you were him”, he said as he pushed off the wall and started on his way down.

“No, Zayn, stop, listen”, Louis panted as he grabbed hold of Zayn’s shirt. Zayn saw the box in his hands and made a broken noise.

“He really does tell you everything, then”, he said. Louis was shaking now.

“No, Zayn. It’s… it’s not what you think”, he said. Zayn wasn’t looking at him, and his trembling got worse, as he held onto the shirt. Zayn had to notice that, Louis could barely stand.

“He’s not cheating on you. It’s… it’s for me”, he said, his voice growing smaller towards the end, and breaking.

“You don’t have to cover for him. I’ve seen him buy stuff, I’ve seen him go to shops clearly meant for girls”, Zayn said.

“No, Zee, he’s completely gay, I promise. I promise it’s all been for me”, Louis said. He couldn’t stand up anymore, his legs crumbled from underneath him and he just smacked down onto the floor, feeling numb. After a split second, Zayn squatted down beside him.

“Are you OK?” he asked, and Louis had to shake his head. He couldn’t breathe. But he had to get it out.

“I’m gender fluid, Zee, and I’m only out to him. He’s been getting me these cute things because he wants me to be out.” He couldn’t be sure if he’d actually managed to say all of it, but the blood rushing in his ears was too loud for him to hear any response. His vision had dimmed to a spot on the carpeted stairwell, and his whole body was shaking.

Louis had no idea how, but suddenly there was a familiar smell, and warmth. There was a familiar voice, and he concentrated on that, not even hearing what was being said, but the rhythm of it soothing him. He got his hearing and vision back slowly, but surely, and found out he was being cradled in Niall’s arms, while Zayn was on his knees in front of him, staring into his eyes and holding onto his knee and to his own phone. Niall’s phone was lying on the floor, and for a moment Louis concentrated on that, until it suddenly became easier to breathe again. He followed Niall’s instructions to breathe in and out regularly, and after a while it worked, although it left him trembling even worse.

“Let’s get him in”, he heard Niall say, and then the two of them helped him up and in no time he was in the flat, sitting on the sofa, with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands and a blanket and a clingy Niall around him.

“God, Lou, you didn’t have to do that”, Niall said as Louis sipped on his drink. Zayn was sipping on one on the other side of him as well.

“I did”, Louis said, “you’ve been trying to get me to tell him for weeks, if not months.”

“Yeah, on your own terms”, Niall said, burying his head into Louis’ shoulder.

“And I told you to stop buying me stuff”, Louis said. Niall whined, but when he pulled back he was smiling widely.

“But you look so cute! I can’t resist it!” he said brightly. Louis glanced at Zayn, who was looking tense and sad, still. He nudged Niall and got up.

He left the two of them to talk and went into his room. It actually pained him to do it, but he felt like he had to, so he dressed in probably his most girly, cutest outfit, with the white thigh-highs and a huge sweater, and he put on a lot of the various jewellery Niall had recently got him, and some of his old ones.

Then he spied through the keyhole.

That was the advantage of an old house, he thought as he saw Niall and Zayn sitting closer together and their postures looking more relaxed. He just wanted to check that he wasn’t intruding on anything, and then he took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped out. As nonchalantly as possible he made his way to the kitchen and got three beers out. He took them out to the others, feeling lightheaded as Zayn’s eyes were fixed on him the whole time.

“You do look overwhelmingly cute”, Zayn said with a wide grin as Louis finally met his eyes properly.

“I know, right!” Niall exclaimed, taking the two beers for them and leaning back into Zayn’s shoulder.

“So, um, you’ve been holding yourself back on my account”, Zayn said quietly, then. More seriously. Louis bit his lip and nodded.

“Had to kind of dress more boyishly when you’ve been around, though I don’t usually go this overboard in the other direction either, not always”, he said.

“You already dress more boyishly in public, though”, Zayn said with an odd look on his face. Louis nodded.

“Yeah, what of it?” he asked, ready to be offended.

“Just- I feel bad you felt like you had to hide it with me around, especially since I’m so often here”, Zayn said. Louis met his eyes and found them sincere, and he had to smile a bit.

“Just don’t… don’t tell Liam and Harold”, Louis said quietly, picking at his beer label. Zayn smiled.

“It’s your place to tell”, he said, “although I have to say I don’t think either of them would mind seeing your thighs on display like that.” He winked, making Louis actually blush, and Niall burst out laughing.

 

Louis was freer around Zayn, and in his own place after that.

One evening, Niall was out with Zayn, celebrating their half a year –aversary. Apparently Liam and Harry were out too, because when Louis asked if he needed to sexile himself, Niall had said they were going to Zayn’s.

So, Louis had the place to himself. He’d been sleeping in his blue knickers, waking up in the middle of the night to pull on his black thigh-highs because it had suddenly been cold. In the morning, he just threw on the first shirt he could find on his floor, a big one, but one that barely covered his nipples and arse, and definitely didn’t cover them if he moved a certain way.

He’d eaten breakfast with Niall, and sent him on his merry, smiling way, and then he’d concentrated on an article he was writing about asexuality. He contacted his source for one more question on Facebook and left it open on his laptop as he continued working on a printed version for a final read-through. He had lunch, typed up the final version on Niall’s desktop computer, and sent it on, before settling down to play some video games. He was just getting up to start making some dinner for himself, when the door to the flat opened. Why would Niall be back?

It wasn’t Niall. It was Harry. Louis stood there, frozen, in the middle of the living room, in plain view of the door. Harry just walked in, set his bag down with a hello and a cursory glance. No reaction. Not even when he looked up again and frowned at Louis still standing there.

“You didn’t get my Facebook message? You hadn’t seen it when I left, I guess, but you were online?” Harry asked. No comment on the outfit.

“No, I… I just left my computer open, I guess”, Louis stammered out. Harry nodded with a chuckle.

“Well, surprise surprise, I forgot I’d promised to sexile myself, so when Niall showed up, Zayn pushed his key on me and told me to get out. They didn’t even wait for me to leave, I’m scarred for life now”, he grinned as he shouldered his bag and made his way to Niall’s room.

“Are these sheets safe?” he asked from inside.

“He changed them just yesterday”, Louis said, because what? No reaction? When Louis was wearing distinctly feminine clothes?

“Safe enough”, Harry said as he walked back out.

“Pizza?” he asked. Louis shook his head, and Harry frowned at him, giving him a once over.

“Oh”, he said, and Louis steeled himself for the reaction he’d been waiting for.

“You’re looking quite nice, were you having someone over? I could go somewhere else, too. Didn’t mean to barge in like this”, Harry said apologetically. Louis just stared, because what the fuck. No reaction, still. Or well, a compliment?

“No, I was just… I was just about to start cooking”, Louis said, his legs trembling a bit as he made his way into the kitchen, finally. He felt light-headed, sure he’d pass out or have a panic attack when Harry finally reacted to his outfit properly. But still, no reaction like Louis had been expecting.

“Oh god, yes, I’m so glad I forgot to ask my sister if I could stay over tonight”, Harry said as he joined Louis in the kitchen.

“What?”

“Love your cooking, man”, Harry said with a wide, easy smile. Louis divided up the work so Harry could do some slicing and dicing, and the two of them made dinner, ate it, and watched a movie all while chatting about nothing and everything. Harry brought out his sketchbook as he often did when they were just sitting down, even when they were watching something.

When Louis went to bed that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about Harry. About Harry’s smile, his funny stories about his sister and his stylist friend and her little girl he’d been babysitting a lot recently, and Louis just—found his eyes had been staying on Harry’s… everything, all evening. Like his strong, slumped shoulders, his long hair he couldn’t seem to keep out of his face and still didn’t pull back. Harry’s strong arms, his forearm muscles shifting as he drew, Harry’s long fingers doing delicate things cooking and drawing, Harry’s amazing eyes that smiled and sparkled, were always open and never hid any emotion. Harry’s stupidly attractive nose, his skinny-arse legs and bottom, his funny way to walk, his tight, tight jeans… and Louis’ hand dived into his panties.

He couldn’t help the little whimpers when he got close, but he was sure Niall would’ve told him if his masturbating was loud enough to hear in the next room. They’d never had problems talking about shit like that anyway.

The next morning Louis got dressed in a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms, before biting his lip and deciding to risk it. He put on a few of the bracelets Niall had bought him, changed his pajama bottoms to the electric blue leggings he loved and felt most comfortable in, and left the t-shirt, even though it had the male symbol on it. It looked good with the leggings, and was just long enough to show off his arse.

When Louis walked into the kitchen, Harry had prepared the two of them some breakfast, and smiled widely at him.

“Hot date today or something?” Harry asked after they’d been chatting amicably for a while. Louis frowned at him until Harry chuckled.

“You’re kind of more dolled up than usual”, he said. Louis shook his head slowly.

“This is how I dress”, he said. Harry’s face fell a bit, and Louis waited for the reaction he’d been waiting for since Harry walked in the day before.

“You mean at home”, Harry said, however. Louis nodded slowly, and Harry’s face fell even more, his frown looking a bit desperate.

“I mean I know we haven’t been friends for that long, but mate, have we… have we said something that’s made you not want to be yourself around us? Like… I’ve been following Niall’s example about pronouns but has he just been covering for you, too?” he said. Louis felt faint again, staring into Harry’s deep, beautiful eyes and not understanding what he was saying.

“What?” Louis asked. Harry bit his lip and swiped his hair back, again.

“I mean have I, or the others, offended you somehow?” he asked. Louis stared.

“What? No?” he said, turning to stare at his coffee. There was a silence, and then he turned back with a frown.

“How did you know?” he asked. Harry frowned at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Did Zayn tell you? He promised not to”, Louis said, feeling bitter, and sure the bitterness showed in his voice. Harry frowned.

“Wait, what?” he asked, “no, he didn’t.”

“Then how did you know?” Louis asked. He wanted to specify it even further: what do you know? But he didn’t dare, not just yet at least.

“I guess it’s not that obvious to a lot of people, but I mean, you hold yourself a bit differently. And some days you seem uncomfortable in your clothes. I didn’t even think it was actually about the clothes until just now when you said you can’t dress normally around us, but… god, just, tell me I haven’t offended you in some way”, Harry said. Louis frowned.

“No, you haven’t”, he said.

“Like with the pork and all that with Zayn?” Harry asked.

“Nothing like that’s happened”, Louis assured him.

“Liam then? Or Zayn? You’ve told Zayn and sworn him to secrecy?” Harry asked. Louis sighed and played with the hem of his shirt.

“Had to tell Zayn because he thought Niall was cheating on him when Ni was buying me girly things like these”, he said quietly, showing his wrist quickly.

“Lou?” Harry asked after a short silence.

“Mmh?”

“You know we’re OK with you being gender fluid, right?” Harry asked, and that’s when Louis noticed tears running down his own cheeks, and sniffled as he lifted a hand up to wipe them away.

“Christ, I had no idea you weren’t out about it”, Harry said as he gathered Louis into his arms, “I thought everybody knew.”

“I hadn’t even told Niall before we decided to move in together”, Louis whimpered. Harry stroked his hair.

“I had no idea the others hadn’t noticed. I guess I look at people more, because of the drawing and photography”, he said.

“I don’t… I don’t tell people. My family knew. Niall knows now, and Zayn had to find out. And, um… I did tell a couple of exes”, Louis said quietly.

“They didn’t take it well, did they?” Harry asked, sounding gentle. He was still holding Louis and stroking his hair.

“They… they didn’t get it. I mean, they basically thought I was a girl and said they weren’t into girls”, Louis said, “one was bi and seemed fine with it, but… he started using different pronouns”, Louis said.

“Christ, I’m sorry”, Harry said with a dry chuckle. Louis pulled away from him to take a sip of his cooled down coffee, and avoided his eyes.

“I mean, of course if you’re gay you don’t want to be dating a girl, but… well, mostly people thought I was a feminine gay and that’s it. That was fine for a bit, but I can’t be in a real relationship with someone who doesn’t understand it”, Louis said. Harry stroked a finger down Louis’ cheek. He was a tactile guy, and he’d always been tactile with Niall and Louis, even, but after all this, after just last night, even, Louis was shivering at the touch, berating himself for getting his own hopes up.

“God, I’ve never… I mean, Zayn never had to come out to me and Liam. We just knew, and it was fine. It’s always been just fine in my circles, really. I mean, I’d never actually defined my sexuality or gender or anything, but in college there was suddenly this need for everyone to be clear about theirs. I avoided it as long as I could, but in the end it was like people felt deceived because I didn’t have a definition, a neat box to belong to. So I figured, well, I guess my gender is pretty clear, and my sexuality is whatever, so I just said pan. When people don’t understand that, I explain it away by saying bi, but that’s not really it. I just, I just don’t care. It’s people, not genders, for me”, Harry explained. Louis turned to look at him, and got lost in his bright eyes and shy smile again.

“So you’ll just do the lot?” Louis asked, going for humour. Harry grinned at him.

“Zayn and Liam are occasionally teasing me about screwing anything that comes my way, yeah”, he said, “even though I haven’t actually had that many relationships or one night stands.”

“I’m… I guess I kind of can’t say I’m gay. I mean, I’m… I’m neither gender, really. Or both. It doesn’t change much, either, I’m just always… this. Kind of neutral but sometimes leaning a bit more towards the other. But I’m attracted to boys and biologically I’m a boy, so I say I’m gay”, Louis said. Harry just smiled widely at him.

“So”, he said after a while, “you’ll start being yourself around us?” Louis bit his lip.

“What about Liam?” he asked. Harry grinned.

“He might check you out a bit”, he said. Louis could feel the blush forming on his face.

“I don’t think he’s realized. I mean, I thought everyone knew but if Zayn didn’t, he won’t have noticed either”, Harry continued.

“You’re OK with it…?” Louis couldn’t help but ask. He needed to make sure. Harry looked dumbfounded for a moment. Then he got up and pulled Louis up into an embrace.

“Louis, I’m absolutely OK with whatever you are. Everyone should be, and I’m sorry everyone in the world isn’t. I know Zayn, Niall and Liam are fine with it, too. That’s just who you are, you shouldn’t have to apologise or anything, you know”, he said. Louis could just about hold back his tears. And boner.

 

Louis started showing up in progressively more girly clothing, or well, more him anyway. He’d never gone that overboard with it, but he wanted to look cute most days, so now he did. Niall was ecstatic, Harry was smiling widely, and Zayn was encouraging. Liam was just confused when he did it the first time and people kept glancing up at him for a reaction.

When he finally got it, he frowned a bit at Louis, making his heart skip a beat.

“Are you… trans?” Liam asked. Louis shook his head.

“Gender fluid. Both genders, at the same time or changing a bit”, Louis said quietly. Liam just nodded.

“My cousin is gender fluid, too”, he said, surprising everyone, “they, um… they said I should ask for pronouns?”

“No need to change those”, Louis said, and Liam just smiled.

“Figured the way these guys are staring at me, they know, and they haven’t changed, so…”

Louis grinned at that, played with the hem of his micro shorts, and then bit his lip.

“Why am I the last one to find out”, Liam pouted then, “I mean, why haven’t I seen that arse in those shorts before?” Louis blushed, glancing down at himself, and then back up at Liam.

“You should see him in thigh-highs and knickers”, Niall commented, and both Liam and Harry’s eyes widened, making Louis blush even more. Zayn and Niall just laughed.

It turned out both Liam and Harry got to see just that when they next came over, since Louis was coming out of a deadline crash. That meant about 24 hours of sleep and a blinding headache, so he was basically just getting up when Niall and Zayn were making dinner one Saturday evening. He had on his thigh-highs, knickers and a hoodie that barely covered half his arse, hood up and hiding half his face, too.

“Better?” Niall asked, pecking his lips, as he stood leaning into the kitchen doorway with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands.

“Better”, he said, pecking him back, and then he got surprised by another peck, by Zayn.

“I’ve told you, I need to get some too, if you’re doing that”, Zayn said, scolding, even though he grinned right afterwards.

Just then Harry and Liam showed up with the spare key that was kept at Zayn’s nowadays, and Louis’ eyes shot down at his body.

“Damn”, he murmured, looking up and meeting Niall and Zayn’s matching grins.

“I think you just turned me bisexual”, were Liam’s first words to Louis, when he appeared next to him. Louis froze, quickly meeting his laughing eyes. If anything, he might’ve expected a “be a girl for me”, or something along those lines. But Liam actually seemed to get it. That to be with him, you essentially had to be bi, because he was basically bi-gendered, no matter the configuration of his genitals.

Harry didn’t join Liam as he walked into the kitchen, and frowning, Louis had to turn around to check, only to see him hurrying into the bathroom. When he turned back, he noticed Zayn and Niall grinning at each other.

“You should probably go cover those knickers”, Niall said. Louis chuckled.

“Not like you cover your boxers if you’re just hanging out in them when people turn up”, he said, trying to sound nonchalant, but really he was kind of angry at Niall’s comment.

“No, mate, not like that”, Zayn said, “we just think you might make the evening uncomfortable for Harry if you don’t.”

“Huh? What’s uncomfortable about this to Hazza?” Louis asked, getting really angry by then, as he’d thought Harry was, along with Niall, the one who’d taken the news best.

“The huge boner he got when we walked in”, Liam commented, getting himself a beer. Louis stared at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Pretty sure he went to deal with it just now”, Zayn said.

“I mean, that was a huge boner”, Niall said, laughing.

“Nah, he’s just huge”, Liam said.

“Cause of an inferiority complex or two”, Zayn grinned, and high-fived Liam. Louis stared at the bathroom door.

“You’re being serious?” he asked. Zayn grinned.

“He hasn’t actually been subtle about liking the way you dress, or just the way you look in whatever you dress in”, Liam pointed out with raised eyebrows. Louis was blushing now, and when Harry stepped out of the bathroom, he breezed past him to pull on his micro shorts.

When he got back, the others had started to move food into the living room and were setting up a movie. When everyone settled down, he noticed Harry had opted for the far left side of the right hand side sofa, with Zayn and Niall cuddling next to him. Louis plopped down next to Liam on the other sofa.

“Why are you so burrowed inside that hoodie? It’s warm inside”, Liam asked him. Louis wrapped the garment and his own arms around himself better, and adjusted the hoodie down.

“Kind of a migraine attack yesterday. Still feeling it”, he said.

“Need anything?” Niall asked, sounding worried.

“Nah, it’s passing I guess”, Louis said, “I don’t want to take too many of those pills, the three yesterday were a bit much.”

“Still feeling funny from them, or from the headache then?” Niall asked. Louis shrugged.

“Never know which it is but yeah, kind of like I’m a bit drunk”, he said.

“Ooh tipsy Louis”, Niall laughed, “watch out for the wandering hands, Li.”

“Just remember I’m not actually into men”, Liam said with a grin, and Louis grinned a bit at that, settling in closer and getting Liam’s arm around him.

Halfway through the movie he had to go lie down in his bedroom, because the headache started to come back. He excused himself and staggered a bit on the way, then stripped off his shorts and hoodie, flicked the lights off and buried himself in his blankets and pillows.

After an agonizing half an hour, he looked around for his phone and sent a text to Niall. Niall showed up not half a minute later, with a glass of water and a headache pill, and through the haze of the pain, Louis could make out the other boys standing in the doorway, looking worried.

“I’ll be fine tomorrow”, he mumbled, and fell asleep to Niall gently stroking his hair.

 

It took a bit longer this time. He got a cold on top of it all, with high fever for two whole days. Niall took care of him, mostly. He and the others made him eat and made sure he had enough painkillers, then Niall helped him shower while Zayn or someone else stripped his bed and changed his sheets. When the fever broke on the third day, Louis felt like he’d been gone from the world for months. With the others at work, he sat watching cartoons and eating soup and cereal, buried inside blankets, wearing a huge jumper and boxers, for a change.

It wasn’t Niall but Harry who walked in, then, and started fussing about how happy he was Louis was up and about, bringing him more food and drinks, and making sure he had everything he needed, before tidying up his room and changing his sheets again. Louis couldn’t do much more but stare.

“I’ve been so worried. We all have”, Harry said as he sat next to Louis. His hand found his and he squeezed it.

“You’ll get sick too”, Louis warned him, but Harry shook his head and leaned in to peck his lips before Louis even realized what was happening.

“I’m never sick”, Harry said. Just then the others showed up, and everyone else went to prepare dinner. When Louis shed his blankets and walked into the kitchen, he was unceremoniously forced to sit on the countertop and offered a blanket again.

“I’m fine”, he said, laughing a little at all the fuss.

“Headache’s finally stopped this morning and all”, he continued.

“Oh, god, finally”, Niall said, hugging him and pecking his lips. He already knew to expect it when Zayn did it right afterwards, and he chuckled at that.

“Why’re you wearing boxers?” Liam asked, sounding disappointed and everyone laughed at him.

“Stop imagining him as a girl”, Zayn said, slapping the back of his head. Louis grinned at him.

“Happened to get my hands on boxers first”, Louis said with a shrug.

“You look cute either way”, Harry said, and Niall agreed loudly, with another peck, this time just on Louis’ cheek.

“Love the stubble, too”, Niall declared.

“Not everyone does. I know you have a stubble kink”, Louis pointed out, glancing at Zayn, who had always had a slight beard or a stubble as long as he’d known him. Zayn grinned at Niall.

“You do? Hadn’t noticed”, he said. Niall rolled his eyes with a blush.

“Hah, come on, I’ve seen his thighs after you’ve blown him”, Louis said with a grin, making Niall squeal.

“And his neck and face after you’ve been snogging”, Louis continued. Niall shot him a pout.

“Why don’t we talk about your kinks for a change” he said, making Louis grin.

“Shut up, you know nothing”, he said flushing a bit. Niall grinned back.

“You really should learn to wipe your internet history. Or at least actually navigate away from porn when you leave the tablet lying around”, he said.

“Oh, that was Louis?” Liam asked, and Louis’ eyes widened. He absently noticed Zayn and Harry looked surprised too. Niall just laughed.

“You’ve seen something?” Niall asked. Liam grinned.

“I mean, I’ve seen Zayn and Harry’s selections, didn’t exactly bother me to pick up the tablet on the sofa and find a porn search results page open”, he said.

“Except for the fact that someone had used it on the sofa”, Niall filled in, and Liam wrinkled his nose.

“I guess so”, Liam said, glancing at Louis, who just pouted.

“Like no one here has ever wanked in a common living area?” he asked. Everyone laughed at that.

“Yeah, no problem there, just, I basically saw one of you just walk into the bathroom when I walked in, I went to put the shopping away and heard the front door, so one of you just came home, so I didn’t really know which one was which. Anyway, like a minute later I went to check the recipe on the tablet and found porn”, Liam said.

“You didn’t recognize the clothes of the one you saw walk into the toilet?” Niall asked with a grin. Liam shrugged.

“Neither one of you was wearing sweatpants when you both showed up in the kitchen five minutes later”, Liam said. Everyone glanced at Louis again, and he just rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I knew everyone was going to be there in five minutes”, he mumbled.

“Well it was a search page for wanking and coming in public”, Liam grinned.

“Shut up!” Louis exclaimed, Niall giggling a bit.

“I heard the key in the door and panicked”, Louis mumbled then, playing with his sleeves. Niall burst out laughing harder at that.

“You ran into the bathroom to finish?” he asked. Louis tried to look more confident as he grinned at Liam.

“Thought whoever it was at the door would not appreciate the view, and I was literally seconds away at that point”, he said. Liam grinned.

“Mate, I’ve seen it all, I’ve lived with Harry for years”, he said. Louis ventured a glance at Harry then, and saw he was rolling his eyes.

“So I like to be naked a lot”, he said.

“That’s completely fine as long as you’re not naked and hard”, Zayn piped in.

“You scar me almost every morning”, Liam said, “and the mornings you don’t are the ones we don’t meet on.”

“It’s morning wood, everybody has it”, Harry defended himself.

“Everybody deals with it in private, or at least puts on pants”, Zayn grinned. Harry just shrugged.

“We’ve all seen each other like that or worse”, he said.

“Oh, definitely worse”, Liam said, covering his eyes with his hand. Both Harry and Zayn smirked at him, and Niall was blushing. Louis knew all about the others barging in on Zayn and Niall when they were in the middle of something, and he’d done it a fair few times himself.

“Yeah, what’s so scandalous about me wanking on the sofa when you two’ve done god knows what on it. Or to it?” Louis grinned, making Niall blush more and Zayn just grin and pull him into a hug.

“And I’m not the only one who’s had a wank in that bathroom either”, Louis said, rolling his eyes at Niall. Niall grinned at that.

“I think everyone here has”, he said. Louis’ eyes widened and he glanced at the others, who were either nodding or grinning.

“I guess that’s true”, Liam said.

“Oh god, can’t anyone here keep it in their pants”, Louis moaned, laughing.

“Sophia was sexting with me!” Liam protested, making everybody laugh.

“Niall was too drunk and fell asleep on me”, Zayn said, with a pout at Niall, and Niall just laughed and kissed him.

“What’s your excuse?” Louis asked, turning to Harry. Harry just lifted an eyebrow, making Louis blush a bit and frown.

“Your bum is his excuse”, Liam muttered, making Harry chuckle and Louis blush deeper.

“Don’t sound so jealous, you’ve agreed his is better than yours”, Harry said, and Liam laughed at that.

“Guess so”, he said, grinning at Louis, who was still blushing and still stuck on the fact that Harry wasn’t denying it, wasn’t even embarrassed by it. Harry had actually wanked in Louis’ flat, over Louis’ body.

 

After that, Louis began to notice Harry’s eyes were actually on him quite often. Especially when he was wearing only underwear as bottoms, even though all the others did that as well, often. And while Louis had yet to see Harry naked, like Liam and Zayn claimed he often went, usually in the mornings, he’d managed to catch a glimpse of Harry’s naked bum when Harry was sleeping over and the covers had migrated a bit and stopped covering so much.

“Yeah he sleeps naked”, Zayn just said, when the two of them locked eyes in the kitchen after Louis had paused to stare for a bit. Zayn grinned at him.

“Even when sleeping next to one of us”, he said, “it’s caused some awkward situations.”

“Morning wood?” Louis asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Zayn grinned again.

“Not just that. I mean, well, me and him ended up fooling around a bit once. Just the once, though. We’re just friends, no unrequited feelings in any way”, he said, looking stern, “but poor Liam had a crisis when he woke up spooning his morning wood into Harry’s crack.”

Louis couldn’t help the burst of laughter, and he tried to stifle it, but there were sounds indicating Harry had already woken up, and soon enough, a still naked, apparently, Harry, stumbled into the kitchen clutching his blanket around him, searching for coffee without a word. He bumped into Zayn while reaching for a mug, and Zayn glanced down and grinned at him.

“Happy to see me?” he asked. Louis’ throat went dry. There was Harry, naked under the blanket, apparently with his huge cock up and ready for business. Harry rolled his eyes at Zayn.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, Harry”, Zayn continued, “why you cover yourself up here or when Niall or Louis sleep over.”

“You’re always telling me I should cover up”, Harry mumbled, in his sleep-rough voice that was absolute, liquid sex to Louis’ ears every time he heard it.

“Yet you don’t, not when it’s just me ad Li”, Zayn pointed out. Harry shrugged.

“Figure I don’t wanna scare away our new friends”, he said, glancing at Louis. Louis tried his best to keep his eyes up at Harry’s face when he turned around, instead of letting them wander down to check for the boner that was supposedly there, tenting the blanket. He was very happy he was wearing tight underwear, sweatpants, and a loose knit sweater that covered his crotch area too, so he had maximum protection and no one could see he had a half-mast boner too.

Just then Niall showed up in just his boxers, and leaned against Louis’ side.

“You’re cold”, he commented, nuzzling in and putting his arms around him.

“I always go to sleep in just my underwear and then wake up to put more and more clothes once or thrice during the night”, Louis complained, his boner all gone as Niall nuzzled into him.

“Why aren’t you warm now?” Niall asked, sounding whiny.

“I didn’t have a Zayn to warm me up during the night?” Louis said, chuckling and putting his own arms around Niall.

“I just put the socks on during the night, then woke up just now with the covers on the floor, freezing”, Louis said. Niall squeezed him.

“Your flat is kind of cold during the night. I mean, the bed’s warm enough with two but alone it’s probably cold”, Zayn said, looking apologetic.

“If I wasn’t worried about you two sexing away at night, I’d crawl in between you when I get cold”, Louis complained.

“You do crawl in when Z’s not here”, Niall pointed out. Zayn looked a bit startled at that.

“You sleep together?” he asked. Niall and Louis looked up at him.

“I… that’s not a problem, is it?” Louis asked suddenly devastated he’d messed things up for Niall again.

“Nah, not really, just didn’t know about it”, Zayn said after a beat. Niall pulled him into the embrace too, and Louis chuckled as two arms encircled him in their warmth.

“Hey”, Harry protested, and soon enough he was hugging them all as well, putting his blanket around everyone in the process. Niall and Zayn stiffened up at that.

“Harry?” Zayn asked, Niall spluttering out a laugh.

“Mmh?”

“You’re still hard”, Zayn said. Louis’ eyes met Harry’s, and Harry grinned.

“So?” he asked.

“And you’re naked”, Zayn said.

“Yeah?” Harry asked.

“Get your cock away from my boyfriend”, Zayn said with a laugh. Harry rolled his eyes and sighed, and then pulled back, covering himself back up before Louis could see anything.

“That’s certainly bigger than average”, Niall commented with an appreciative nod in Harry’s direction as they all pulled apart. Harry winked at him. Louis had to turn away and swallow as he made his way back to his bedroom. If he grabbed himself a bit and then hurried into a cold shower, no one needed to know about that.

After the shower, Louis pulled on his favourite, bit loose Capri jeans, the red ones, and a tight, striped top, and went to check what remained of the breakfast. Liam had showed up in the meantime, and Niall was dressed as well. Zayn, apparently, was in the shower, and Harry was wearing boxers and a button-down, that wasn’t buttoned down.

“Shut your dimples, Harry”, Liam was muttering, and Louis glanced at Harry, who was smiling widely.

“Liam got laid last night”, he informed him, and Louis grinned as well.

“Have fun?” Niall asked with a frown, and Liam smiled. He’d been at the pub with the others, then met up with a girl he’d been seeing a few times lately.

“God, she’s perfect”, Liam said, burying his face in his hands for a while, then looking back up with a wide grin.

“Wasn’t all boring vanilla then?” Harry asked with a matching grin. Liam rolled his eyes.

“We did it in multiple positions, multiple times, if you have to know”, he said. Harry’s grin widened even more.

“Nice tits?” he asked, and Louis’ stomach felt fluttery all of a sudden. He’d just remembered Harry liked girls, too, and no matter how pansexual he’d said he was, it suddenly felt like there was no way Harry would ever like him.

“Just right”, Liam grinned, “god I needed that.”

“You really did”, Harry said, “your right hand’s been cramping ever since you broke up with Sophia.”

Liam chuckled. Sophia hadn’t lasted that long, and Liam had said this new one probably wouldn’t, but that they’d still have some fun.

“Not like you’re not in a healthy relationship with your right hand”, Liam said. Harry grinned at him.

“I’m never not in a relationship with my right hand”, he said.

“Yeah, we know”, Zayn said, walking in.

“You wank like twice as much when you actually are in a relationship”, Liam said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I mean, I wank every now and then, but basically Ni’s always there when I need it, so…” Zayn grinned at Niall, and Niall grinned at Zayn.

“Niall usually doesn’t when he’s in a relationship”, Louis pointed out.

“Like he said, basically he’s there every time I need it”, Niall said, nodding at Zayn. Louis grinned.

“I’m like that”, Liam said, “I think I only wanked the once with Sophia, for example, and that was because we were sexting, so…”

“Lou’s like three times as horny when he’s in a relationship though”, Niall said with a grin.

“Or no one’s just been there enough”, Louis said with a shrug.

“They didn’t satisfy your needs properly, then”, Zayn said with a grin. Louis grinned back.

“Maybe that’s one of the reasons we always broke up”, he said.

Harry got up to take a shower, and Louis couldn’t help but think the two of them matched up a bit, and maybe Harry would satisfy him enough.

“God, stop pining”, Niall whispered in his ear, and he startled from staring at Harry’s retreating back. He turned to look at the others, blush spreading on his face, and he saw Zayn and Liam grinning widely at him.

“Mate, you already know he’s wanked over you”, Liam said.

“Yeah, what are you waiting for?” Zayn asked. Louis scoffed at them and disappeared into his bedroom, staying there until a confused Harry came to get him as they were all leaving for a movie they’d agreed to go to.

 

Harry was sitting next to Louis a week later at their place, as Niall and Zayn played a videogame, and Liam was out with that new girl of his. It wasn’t really sudden, Harry had slipped his arm around Louis and moved closer, like he often did, but the way his knuckles brushed over Louis’ was sudden. Louis stiffened, and glanced at their hands. He didn’t dare move at all, not even his gaze.

There was a huff of breath, an amused Harry –kind of sound, and then Harry’s little finger was stroking his. Louis glanced up, but not at Harry, at Niall and Zayn. As they were completely concentrated on the game, Louis got up and just nudged Harry a bit as he walked away. Harry followed him into the kitchen, and when their eyes met, Harry smiled a shy, small smile. Louis bit his lip. It looked like Harry was about to say something, but suddenly the way he looked at him was enough, and Louis stepped a bit closer.

A half a step, and Harry was matching it, his hands coming up to Louis’ hips. Louis’ hands came up to Harry’s waist as he leaned in. They hovered for a bit, eyes on each other’s lips, then noses touching, breathing the same air, and then they kissed.

Just gently, very gently, at first. And then Louis got lost in all the feelings, Harry’s hands tugging on his jumper, his own stroking along Harry’s waist and hips. When they pulled apart, they were both a bit out of breath, even if tongues hadn’t entered the equation yet. Louis frowned at the lack of noise from the other room, and as he glanced up at the kitchen door, he met Niall and Zayn’s gleeful faces, and groaned as he covered his eyes with his hand. Harry just laughed and shooed the others away.

“But… but, finally!” Niall pouted. Zayn pulled him away, though, and when they were gone, Louis met Harry’s eyes with a blush. He met Harry’s sparkling eyes, his wide smile and dimples, and just sighed.

“How long have you known about my crush on you?” he asked quietly. Harry grinned even wider, if that was possible.

“About two seconds”, he said, and Louis blushed even more, shaking his head.

“I’ve had a crush on you since I first saw you, though”, Harry confessed. Louis bit his lip.

“I’ve… I’ve had one on you ever since… ever since you didn’t react to seeing me in more girly clothes”, he said quietly. Harry grinned.

“God, I just wanted to fuck you with just those thigh-highs on”, he breathed, making Louis blush and groan.

“Shut up!” he hissed, making both of them laugh. Harry pulled back and pulled him with him, back through the living room and into Harry’s room. Thankfully, Zayn and Niall had apparently retreated into Zayn’s room during all this.

Despite what Louis thought Harry wanted, Harry just settled on the bed, next to him, and stared into his eyes while stroking his face with a couple of fingers.

“I don’t want to rush into anything, but I really, really want you”, Harry said.

“Me too”, Louis said quietly.

“I want to take you out, Harry said, “but at the same time I just want to never let you out of this bed again.” Louis couldn’t help the smile. He leaned closer, and this time Harry led him into a full-on tongued make-out session. They ended up with Louis on top, grinding into each other while they snogged, and Louis was just about ready to come in his pants when he remembered he had nothing to change into, and just pulled back and rolled off with a whimper. They both steadied their breathing for a moment, and then Harry turned to him, biting his lip and looking shy.

“Not OK?” he asked quietly.

“More than OK”, Louis said as quietly. There was a pause.

“I was so bloody close”, Harry chuckled. Louis giggled a bit and turned back towards him.

“Didn’t want to make a mess of my clothes”, he said, making Harry groan and bury his face in the sheets.

“I’m sure there would’ve been clothes for you to borrow somewhere in this flat, if not my clothes”, he mumbled into them. Louis was already pulling his clothes off, though, and when Harry glanced his way, he scrambled to match his speed.

“Fuck”, Harry breathed as Louis was on his knees on the bed in front of him, stark naked and so hard he was hurting.

“You’re fucking gorgeous”, Harry whimpered, his hands finding their way to Louis’ skin as soon as his own clothes were off. Louis grinned and stared down at Harry’s huge boner.

“You too”, he said, earning a chuckle. Then Harry’s hand found his cock and he groaned and copied the action. Harry’s moan was absolutely obscene and way too loud for these walls.

“Won’t take long at all”, Harry ground out as he fucked into Louis’ fist. Louis made an agreeing noise and latched his mouth onto Harry’s neck, jawline and lips. It really didn’t take long, as Louis came about three strokes later, and Harry only took a couple more.

After a short while, while they were still catching their breaths, there was a knock on the door.

“You want pizza or are you just going to keep at that all night?” came Zayn’s voice through the door.

“Should we sexile ourselves?” Niall asked, making them chuckle and kiss again.

“Come out and make out, I wanna see too!” Liam’s voice yelled.

The two of them got up, cleaned up a bit with the wet wipes Harry kept next to his bed, and started getting dressed. Instead of his own jumper, however, Louis picked up Harry’s button-down. It was just big enough to make him look cute and small in it, and Harry grinned at him and pulled him into a kiss before grabbing a random t-shirt from his closet.

The rest of the night Louis was cuddled firmly to Niall, who kept throwing glances at Harry, and Harry kept pouting at them until Louis finally pushed Niall away and moved laps.

Everybody was laughing at them, but Louis made sure he pecked Niall on the lips, earning himself a peck from Zayn, and then one from Harry as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited a minor inconsistency (like two sentences) that kept bothering me after another read-through. Sorry!


End file.
